Yet another day

Another day down, as the clock of life ticks on. Another one of those ‘hollow’ days. Are there others like me out there who live out days with the burden of shallow nothingness on their backs? Well, I shall rant about it, for a few minutes, in my virtual sanctuary.

I walked into my workplace – usually a fun-filled, careless, carefree, yet productive zone, festooned with the regular elements that make Brainvisa what it is. It seemed like the regular day, one of its lately consistent disguises donned! I grabbed my li’l plastic cup of coffee and yummy eggs spread on browned tomatoes—a piping hot breakfast I would have loved to gorge on within the comfort of my dimly lit kitchen. I had to pack it though, because of my dredging inability to leave the house at 7:45am. I did finish every last scrap of it in front of this mindless illuminated screen with the soundtrack of Grease playing in loop through my headphones.

Work’s been a disaster these last few days. Not in a dysfunctional way, but more in a ‘I didn’t DO anything today’ kinda way. The feeling almost makes me want to become Michael Jackson and Heal the World for a day. Yes – although it’s much too further a thought to provoke, provoke I must. I don’t want to turn around on the shore I’ve walked and see an empty serene scene—with nothing in it but …uh…. stillness, you know? I want to see, well….so much more! ... “….Maybe a wedding in progress. The bride in an off-white gown tinged yellow, the glow, which coupled with the perfectly timed sunset, reflects on her beautiful shoulders and cheeks, as she laughs candidly beside the man she’s always loved. She, laying down her bouquet of white and yellow roses tied with a flowing golden curling ribbon, walks forward for her first dance, her husband smiling eagerly as they walk toward the centre. The crowd waiting expectantly for the romantic slow dance. But the couple, nonconformists that they are, step up the wedding celebration with practiced moves to ‘You’re that one that I want’ (grease OST – yes, I’ve been listening to it all morning!). Definitely miles away from the anticipation of the crowd. But, it’s done well. Music, cheer, fun and excitement fill the air, the thrill of which I feel as goose bumps rise on my skin. Balloons and snow spray I see in the distance as the sun finally sets and elusive amber lights fade in to submerge the darkness. It’s a beautiful sight – everything is aglow! Le festin est sur mon chemin!!! Now that’s the life I want to see as I walk away. Oh so profound! The mind sniggers as I type.

Oh, yes, I often drift off on a tangent when I think of weddings—that’s my forte you see—not the getting married part, but everything around it—to feel the satin gown as it fondles my body, walk down the envied isle, gently touch the flowers as they decorate the pews, wear the prestiged tiara, smile as I see my man want me at the altar, feel the chill of metal as the platinum ring glides over my finger …….oh…..there I go again! So yes, dragging myself back to my current musings, I needed to rant about…uhhhh…what was that????.... Oh yes—the not-so-regular happy day! The day moves on, hauled by me; almost like the little school boy who trudges along a scruffy path as he heads home after a long rough day—the tons in his backpack relentlessly adding to his already agonizing pace. A mix of fillers I engage myself with—a few random websites, Facebook, Gmail, YouTube, an enormous music collection whose rendition I can’t survive without, a little storyboarding and yes, the infinite involuntary clicks on the Send/receive button of my Microsoft Outlook mailbox. My phone contributes to few temporary moments of pleasure. It rings and beeps, defying the stupefied silence that surrounds me, insulting the monotony of the virtual deserted feel of the cubicle (‘cept for few interruptions by keyboards and mice of course). Thank god for it. With the rubberband holding it together, or without – I thank God for my phone at this point. 1 minute silence. Chat keeps me alive too. A few humans like me at the other end, try to contrive this little world of Gtalk buddies. Thank God for it. 1 minute silence. My treat scraps are running out – I still survive. Then its 5:30 on the clock. I’m losing my mind – help me breathe. I picked up my celebrity-statured pink bag and walked right out of here. Sat in my car for a whole 2 minutes – which is an eternity in solitude. The radio failed to jolt the smallest of nerves or emotions. So I drove myself home in silence, insensitive to the noisy, hounding traffic that distanced my destiny.

The car was parked. All deeds were done. I could finally caress some slumber, I breathed. The phone rang, it was mom. She wanted a meal of dal and rice prepared since she’d be late. My mind groans, not me. I ran up the stairs. I stood outside the door as the hunt for my house keys began. It’s a lot to go through you know—a small purse, a makeup vanity case, a packet holding bank and cheque books, a comb, random papers, junk, trash, etc. Found! I inserted the key in the keyhole as I heard a faint whoof on the other side of the door. I opened the door. My li’l baby doggy was already half way up, clambering over every part of me that he could possibly clamber over. His tiny whoofs, which he manages without any jaw movement still trigger my attention and amazement. My wrap, the bag and its contents, a muddle on the floor. He jumps and barks and wags his tail incessantly. My face still out of reach. He runs around the hall for a few brief seconds, hurdles over the table and is back on me. I tried to calm him, but to no avail. All his 25kgs of which he is blissfully unaware, forces me onto the sofa. Finally within reach, he starts to lick. Aaaaah!!!! Slimy, stinky, wet drool, layered on my face. It feels awesome! He’s back on his feet, errrr, paws and runs off as if suddenly hit by some stroke of lunacy, then returns with his famous football in mouth. Now that’s his famous game, if you must know. You yank the ball away from him and then throw it – ‘fetch’ is it??? yes - that’s it! He continued to jump and bark and run with glee, as I exited the scene to battle utensils and ingredients in the kitchen.
Much later, as I curled up in bed, I felt the soft paws somewhere in my blanket. I pinned them down with my feet. His head pops out of the blanket with the most adorable stare. I smiled as he closed his eyes and fell asleep, half tucked in and half out…

As I type now with a grin on my face, I realise the trivialness of a depressed feeling or a boring day. I blog it out of desperation to convey how a tiny moment of joy can transform your day… so much so that I cooked dum chicken in white sauce instead of dal and rice. And it went a long way in being appreciated. Interesting!

Here’s an appropriate lil something I found. Read on, while I drown out the few crumbs of sorrow still on my plate, with a bar of KitKat….
There can be so much joy in life,
Frequently too much to measure,
Sweet times of peaceful, happy thoughts,
And moments of infinite pleasure.

Warm rays of sunshine kissing our skin,
A soft breeze’s gentle caress,
A kind word or a friendly touch,
A quiet release from stress.

The lilting voices of happy children
As they scamper around and play,
The carefree trot of a little pup,
Help to brighten up our day.

Joy can come from the simplest things,
A smile or a tender embrace,
For life’s a great play if we live every scene
Not some jaded journey to race